How to Forgive When It’s Hard

As this week brings my Father’s murder trial and marks the 2 year anniversary of his death, I’ve been doing some big time forgiving.

Who do you need to forgive?

It’s time we take the heaviness of unforgiveness to the feet of the only one who can carry it. Our incredible Father promises in Matthew 11:30 that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. He didn’t place these burdens on you and His plan is for you to be free from them.

First, know that YOU CAN FORGIVE!


1-God tells us to (obedience)

2-He forgave us of all our sins

Colossians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭MSG

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”


Mark 11:25 TPT “And whenever you stand praying, if you find that you carry something in your heart against another person, release him and forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also release you and forgive you of your faults.”



Well you can’t. We must invite Him in to do the work.

1️⃣Invite the Holy Spirit into your hurt. To bring strength and power. To soften hard places of your heart.

Zechariah 4:6 tells us “It’s not by might. Not by power. By his spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:17 ensures us that “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

Let’s pray: “Holy Spirit you are welcome into this broken, angry, hurt, dark place. Your strength is made perfect in my weakness and I’m too weak to forgive. Work in and through me. I make room for you to move”

2️⃣Exercise forgiveness. Just like a muscle, you’re not going to see the results after 10 minutes of working out. In the same way we can’t start lifting 100 pounds, we must start with a lighter weight. Start forgiving small things. The person who cut you off in traffic. Your boss for not thanking you for your work. You’ll begin to see the instant power of forgiveness. This can help us build our forgiveness muscles for the really heavy stuff.

Start the discipline before you see the deliverance.

Start proclaiming you forgive even if you don’t feel it. Say it over and over.

Let’s pray-“Father, I forgive _____. I may not feel it right now and I may want to hold on to this, but I know with you I can forgive. I forgive ______”. I forgive _____”.

3️⃣Renew your mind daily with the word of God by casting your cares and taking negative thoughts captive.

Tough news-it’s not easy to forgive.

Good news-it gets easier.

The first two times I walked through forgiving, it took me a ton of work. Really exercising the faith that I COULD forgive. And once my mind had been renewed and I knew through Christ I COULD forgive, I just made a stance that every time something came my way to forgive I would. And IMMEDIATELY. You have to get in a place where you tell the enemy-“I’m not going to carry that!”

1 Peter 5:7 AMP gives the most freeing promise that we can “cast all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].”


2 Corinthians‬ ‭10:5‬ ‭should fire you up knowing “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Let’s pray-“Oh Lord you are my Mighty God, Prince of Peace, Everlasting Father, and Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6). I need you to be all those things for me right now as I make the decision to forgive. I will not carry this weight any longer. I choose to declare your word over every betrayal and I believe there is freedom in forgiveness!”